i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
