I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize