There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
