Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
