So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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