Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
