: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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