I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
