I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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