I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
