You really coming over, don't trick.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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