she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
