I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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