Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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