never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
