I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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