So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize