She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
