uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
