shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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