margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
