You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
