Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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