Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
