16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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