Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize