"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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