the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
