If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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