Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
