i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
