Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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