so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
