How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This is my gift to your gina
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
send nudes
from the living room?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
