My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
