Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
