He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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