Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
