I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
