hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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