so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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