I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
