o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
