tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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