It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
