yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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