my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
