Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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