when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
