Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
