this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
