Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
