Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
