did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
