Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
