Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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