I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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