Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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