i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize