Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
