We're facebook friends in real life
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I didn't notice because vodka
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
