He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Congratulations! We have a period
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