How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
