no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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