hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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